Invictus Maneo:
I
REMAIN
Friday this week was St. Baldrick’s at where I work. Our fundraising goal was set at $3000 for the
event. We’ve done more in the past, but
this year I figured we’d start low and if we went over, even the better. One of my ‘deals’ that I made with the
students was that the top three students would get to shave my head, trim my
goatee or dye my hair. I also promised
not to trim or cut my hair from Thanksgiving on.
My female relations and friends protested this agreement,
but as I explained to them. Children who
have cancer endure so much; we can all endure this obstacle. So my hair grew. It grew long and out of control. It got to the point that I would comb my hair
before I left for work only to have a completely disorganized mess by the time
I got there. My goatee made me look like
a distant cousin of ZZ TOP or the Roberts Family. But I endured these obstacles and would
remind my friends, family and coworkers – Kids who have cancer suffer so much
more….
One fateful day I was having a conversation with my good
friend and fellow administrator Barbara Z.
I mentioned to her that I desperately wanted to wear a kilt for St.
Baldrick’s. We’ve bandied about the idea
for some time, me talking about it wistfully, her and others with that hint of
a knowing smile of – oh yeah, that WOULD be crazy! Looking on-line one day I found a website
that would make my size and it would look awesome! However, the cost was easily in the $300
range – immediately it was out of range for me.
And then Barbara made her mistake.
She offered to make one for me.
She was hooked! There was no
going back now.
I mentioned my plans to those who know me and immediately
they cringed with fear. “No, please tell
me you’re not.” But we were committed.
A trip to Wally World with Barbara and her daughter Amanda
and we had selected the fabric and the assorted odds and ends for the sash and
kilt. We were on our way. Barbara said it took her seven hours to do it
– I’m willing to believe that it was longer than that – closer to 10 at
least. So Thursday before the event
rolled around and I brought the finished kilt home. Before I went to bed I put everything on, the
socks, shoes, kilt, shirt, sporran and pins.
I saw what I looked like. Yep,
that was a kilt!
The fabric for the kilt wasn’t some traditional tartan. Yes, my family can trace a legacy back to the
homeland; but no – This was not my family tartan. The fabric was a pattern based on IRON
MAN! It had a pair of Iron Man suits
flying in a blue field of comic. It
wrapped around my waist and fit perfectly.
The Velcro held it tight against me, the belt loops painstakingly
stitched on and the pleats fitted to the right spots on the kilt all worked to
make me look like – well an IRON MAN Highlander!
The next morning I was determined to go to school like
this. I put everything on, got dressed
and there I was. And suddenly I had cold
feet.
 |
| Me wearing my Iron Man Kilt and hair teased out! |
People would laugh at me.
I was sure of that. I hadn’t even
bothered to comb my hair, Kim G. who was going to tease my hair out said it
would be better if I didn’t wash it – so it was a disorganized bed head
mess (I did wet it a bit because it
didn’t feel right not to.) I would look
like an idiot and the laughing would make me feel embarrassed. I thought of all the silly things I had done
– this was right up there. I usually
don’t care about my self-image. I’m
overweight and not Mr. Handsome – but I am me and usually I just don’t care as
long as I’m suited nicely – well this was different than having a nice suit
on.
I tried to remind myself that refrain from before – Children
who have cancer go through so much more.
It wasn’t enough to dispel all the butterflies, but it was enough to get
me out the door or at least headed towards it.
I was driving to school that morning, and the butterflies
returned in full force. Sitting in the
truck as we drove down my dirt road and then out onto the connecting roads I
wanted to turn around. Every morning I
stop to get my breakfast. I order the
same thing every day from the same place and yes I am a creature of habit – but
so was Einstein and my rocket scientist father – so it’s a sign of genius –
thank you!
But today I WAS NERVOUS.
They would laugh at me; people there would laugh at me. I would be a laughingstock.
And I thought about kilts in general. They have a strong tradition. They were used by those of the Scottish
Highlands to represent their families and clans. To wear them was to honor them. In many circumstances the kilts were worn to
battle to defend their families and traditions. At one point in the history of the kilt,
they were banned from use because the British government tried to suppress the
highland culture. The kilt was
associated with fighting to protect the clan and the culture of their people.
Strangely, it filled me with purpose. That’s what I was doing now. Fighting cancer in the way that I could,
revving up my students and co-workers to help fight cancer. And YES WE DID! Early counting shows that we nearly doubled
our original effort. My trepidation
from the morning was gone. I did not
give in to my fear and got my breakfast wearing my kilt – and YES I was asked
and then I told them why I was wearing it.
I showed up at the school and every student stopped and stared as I
passed their classroom throughout the morning. But I wasn’t worried anymore – I was energized
Later, while I was walking around the gym, my hair half
shaved off- the rest teased up and painted pink, yellow and green. I was a walking advertisement to enlist
others. Three students volunteered and
got permission from their parents. The
school cheered on everyone who did it. I
had to convince my principal to not shave her head because one of us had to
appear to be sane – and from my hairdo before and after I was clearly the crazy
one!
I REMAIN UNCONQUERED
!
Invictus Maneo!
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