Sunday, February 23, 2014

Sunday Scribble


Sunday Scribble:  
What's in a word?
or
A History of the Flush Toilet!

The word 'crap' has many different connotations and meanings.  To some it's a good word to describe something not in the best of shape.  According to Mike Rowe (of Dirty Jobs and multiple voice overs including my ringtone of him singing Dr. Seuss's Mr. Grinch)  C.R.A.P.  means Collectibles, Rare And Precious.  While still others use the word CRAP as a term of endearment as in - "It maybe Crap, but it's all mine."  And let's not forget that it is the root of the name of the most famous plumber of all time; a person who has been mistakenly credited for creating the one invention that delineates Civilized Society from Barbaric Society -  Of course I am talking of no other than THOMAS CRAPPER.  Crapper has been correctly credited with inventing the .......BALLCOCK... which helps the flow and flushing of the ah.... crapper. Of course in old English and in parts of Great Britain today the word Crap refers to weeds, or rubbish or even chaff.  

Within the last hundred years or so the word has come to mean something as in dealing with human waste.  In the event that those of you who read this don't realize this I'm a man of history.   I soak up historical facts like a piece of bread sops up soup.  Yes, like that and then some.  I try not to be picky and discriminate about history - after all there is so much of it and it would be very easy to be selective.  Not me, however.  I enjoy hearing about the Ancient Greeks, Early Romans, Middle Age, Dark Age, Sun-Tzu, Mao, Stanley and Livingston, the Pharaohs, Olmecs, Mayans, Easter Island, Stonehenge, King Alfred the Great, Rollo, Xenophon and yes even CRAPper -  the list goes on.  

Long ago, before I had finished college but after I knew everything like a teenager, my now late mother told me of the one defining invention that separates us from the barbaric ages.  She explained how this single invention makes the world of difference in humanity's growth.  It's invention and subsequent improvements helped to prevent disease, improve lifestyles of people and changed the way that the word 'wealth' was used to define people.  


Of course the obvious avoidance of pestilence, she explained, was but the way to prevent disease.  Filth could now travele down the pipe and out of the home. No longer was the average person forced to dump their - ah crap - (i.e. rubbish, weeds and other leavings) out the window to the small gutter that ran down the street.  The gutter which would be filled up and only emptied by the next rain storm, all of which would end up in the river that ran through or by the town.  

When the diseased filth gets flushed down the crapper it flows through the pipes,down to the sewage system of the city and eventually ends up in that river.  The waste then flows down river getting mixed in with the sediment, water, river banks or simply flows to the next town.  Of course this system is only truly beneficial for those closer to the head waters of the river or those rich folks furthest from the water - so just don't go swimming.  

According to those who know, history's definition of wealth has changed repeatedly over the eons.  Early on, it was the amount of sheep or other animals which you had in your tribe as you roamed the lands. As societies settled into more structured civilizations, pasture and farm land size mattered.  This changed to include the amount of gold or precious metals you could use to shape into things to sell or use to defend yourself with - i.e. weapons of war such as the sword or pike.  Some cultures looked at the number of camels while others looked at the size and shape of your ships because it meant you could send more materials to sell on the backs of the camel or keel of a ship.  This all changed again with Crapper and his popularity among the English gentry.  

My mother explained that when Edward VII ordered Crapper to outfit one of his homes he gained national prestige and made everyone want his work, the then contemporary version of what we know more popularly in our vernacular as the flush toilet, water closet or as some know it - their reading seat - and if living the movie THIS IS FORTY (33 seconds in) - your chance to play Words With Friends.  This single act of Edward VII redefined wealth and what made you wealthy.  The flush toilet had reached it's ascendancy.  

Whatever your point of view on the word, keep in mind some simple facts.  Be thankful for Thomas Crapper, and that the word crap means more then crap.    

Until next time - make sure you check back Thursday for the conclusion of A FELLOW OTHELLO.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

A Fellow Othello: Part 3

Thursday Tales Presents:
A Fellow Othello: 
(Part 3) 

Quickly ducking down, Gale found Rachel’s binder that she had left on the bus.  She reached into it and took out the necklace that she had watched Rachel tuck away in the front pocket of the binder.  She pocketed it and stood up.  It was then that she saw Jimmy looking back.  She wasn't sure that if he had seen her but tried to play it off.
“What,” Gale asked.
“What are you doing with Rachel’s binder,” Jimmy asked. 
“What do you mean,” Gale asked, acting dumb.  “Oh, that’s hers.  I just noticed that it was open and figured that the nice thing to do would be to close it so nothing would fall out when the bus moved.”
Jimmy looked at her skeptically, but he figured that with all the garbage she usually gave him for stupid stuff that calling her a liar would only make his day worse. 
“Sure,” Jimmy finally said and headed off the bus.  Gale followed quickly.
***

The touch tunnel was dark, which was the point of the enclosed space.  You had to crawl along the carpeted area in complete blackness, feeling your way.  Gale had positioned herself in front of Cassie, knowing she would have an opportunity to get close.  The plan that Gale had come up with was to drop the necklace into Cassie’s pocket. 
About half way she had her opportunity.  Stopping Gale asked Cassie if she would take the lead for her.  As Cassie passed Gale, she stuck the necklace into the other girl’s pocket.  Getting out of the tunnel, the sweaty group of middle schoolers met up with Mr. Breaker at the hallway.
Gale met up with Jenny who had been at the back of the line. 
“I thought you were going to wait up for me,” Jenny asked.
“I couldn’t,” Gale said.  “The people here wouldn’t let me.” She lied  “Besides I had a great idea.”
“What’s that,” Jenny asked.
“I think you should pick a fight with Cassie,”
“Why would I do that,” Jenny asked. 
“Well, because she’s going to be the next vice-president of student council,” Gale said.
“WHAT!” Jenny exclaimed, drawing the attention of those closest to her. 
“I heard Cassie bragging about it yesterday in Science, but I didn’t want to upset you.” Gale said.  “And I thought you knew already.”
Jenny angrily stormed off towards where Cassie stood, Jenny looked hard at Cassie.  Gale had positioned herself next to a group of other kids and acted as if she was engaged in talking to them.  This enabled her to be able to hear the confrontation while not seeming to notice it. 
“So, you like to brag,” Jenny said to her.  “You are such a b**ch.”
Jenny pulled her arm back and swung at Cassie.  Cassie tried to step back, but not fast enough.  The top third of Jenny’s fingers made contact with the front of Cassie’s face, turning the unprepared girl’s head sideways and staggering her. 
A moment later Jenny was able to slap with the other hand at Cassie’s face, sending the girl to the ground. Jenny took her leg back as if to kick, but was stopped by the timely intervention of Rachel who pulled the smaller girl back from Cassie.
Mr. Braker came around to the front of the group, surprise covering his face.  There was one of his better students on the ground and another standing over her read to kick her senseless.
“That’s enough ladies,” Mr. Braker said.  “Neutral corners,” Mr. Braker soon regained control of the situation. “What happened her?”
“Cassie has been running around telling everyone that she was appointed to the student council, rubbing it in my face.”  Jenny said loud enough for everyone in the immediate vicinity to hear. 
“That’s not true,”  Cassie said.
“You told Gale in science class,” Jenny yelled back.
“Is that true Cassie?” Mr. Braker asked. 
Sheepishly Cassie looked up at Mr. Braker.  His face was a stern mask, filled with anger at his school trips interruption and the embarrassment this would bring him back at school and from the people at the Planetarium. 
“Well,”  Mr. Braker said testily.  “Yes or No?”
“Yes, I told Gale,” Cassie said finally. 
“Well, I’m going to talk to the Vice Principal about this and I doubt he will still want you to be part of Student Council.” 
Jenny leaped up and clapped her hands, yelling “Yay!”
“And as for you, young lady,” Mr. Braker turned on Jenny.  “I sincerely doubt that our esteemed Vice Principal will want you to participate in Student Council at all.  In fact I suspect that both of you will be spending some quality time suspended in or out of school.” 
Mr. Braker made the two girls walk around with him after that but not before Rachel had a chance to talk to Cassie.
“I have to say I’m disappointed,” Rachel said to Cassie.
“Me too, I never would have thought that Jenny would have flipped out like that,” Cassie said. 
“I didn’t mean I was disappointed in Jenny,” Rachel said.  “I meant you.”
“Why me?” A completely shocked Cassie asked.
“Because you were running around blabbing about your appointment,” Rachel said.  “Now I don’t know if I can trust you in this position.  Being my vice-president has to be someone I can trust to keep a secret.  It seems you can’t be.”  It was bad enough that Mr. Fuddles wouldn’t want Cassie as the vice president, but neither did Rachel now.
Without another word Rachel turned and left Cassie in stunned silence.
Rachel didn’t get far before Gale intercepted her. 
“What’s the matter Rachel, you look so upset,” Gale asked.
Rachel looked at Gale, again unsure if Gale was being sincere or trying to upset her.  Rachel still wasn’t sure what had been Gale’s intention on the bus. 
“Nothing,” Rachel said, figuring that it was better to be safe rather than sorry later.
“Good,” Gale said.  “I was afraid it was about the necklace thing.”
“No, I figured you were just trying to be helpful back on the bus,” Rachel said.
“Oh,” Gale said, her face innocent.  “I didn’t mean that necklace thing.”
“What do you mean,” Rachel asked.
“I meant the necklace thing with Cassie,” Gale said.  “I figured that’s what you were talking to her about.” Gale made it look like she was trying to hold something in.  “I couldn’t help but overhear what you just said to Cassie and I thought it was related to the necklace.”
“What are you getting at,” Rachel asked.
Gale hesitated, appearing unsure how to proceed, although she knew exactly what she was doing, creating drama and scoring some attention points while getting back at Rachel for her friend Jenny.  If Gale felt any remorse at her friends loss of the vice president job on the student council, Gale didn’t show it.  She knew that in any plan there needed to be sacrifice, and after all this plan was to get revenge on a girl who was trying to steal Jenny’s boyfriend, not Gales.  It was only fitting that Jenny have some difficulty come from the plan.
“Let it out,” Rachel said, her patience clearly growing thin.
“Well, you didn’t hear this from me,” Gale began.  “But I heard that Tommy had given your necklace to,” Gale held up her left hand blocking her right hand from Cassie’s view, who still looked dumbfounded.  Gale’s finger was pointing at Cassie.
“No way,” Rachel said firmly.  “I don’t believe it.”
Gale looked over at Cassie, noticed a piece of the necklace hanging out of Cassie’s pants.  Rachel followed Gale’s look and saw the same chain.  By that time Cassie noticed the two girls staring and also followed to where they were looking and saw the same chain.  Cassie reached down and pulled the necklace from the pocket, unsure how or what she was looking at.
Rachel’s face instantly contorted into rage.  With an anger she didn’t know she had in her, she yelled and headed towards the crowd of her fellow students.  Rachel saw Tommy standing next to his friend Jimmy, she headed straight for them.  When she got there she didn’t even hesitate, she through first one punch and then a second. 
Tommy blocked the first and then the second.  Jimmy tried to intervene and was shoved back by the enraged girl.  Jimmy banged his head against the ground and yelled out.  Rachel finally connected with Tommy’s forehead, sending him back a step. 

It was then that the surprisingly strong Mr. Braker was able to hold the struggling girl back from any further punching.  Mr. Braker idly thought that it was the last time he would be coming to the Planetarium with anyone.  It was moments like this that made him hate not taking an early retirement.

Monday, February 17, 2014

Manic Monday - Revisited

MANIC MONDAY 2/17/2014
Why should Monday be seen so bad.  Let's lighten the mood, shall we? 


 Celebrating the increased number of participants viewing my stories on my website brings us to the second Manic Monday.  I know we all work hard and I want to humbly thank you for finding the time to spend with me reading my writings.  Once again I offer up to you another free Kindle story in the hopes that you continue to know the depths of my appreciation.  




Captain Algernon Fisk Against the Pirates of the Asteroid Belt

This story tells of a newly minted Captain of a small ship sent to deal with the growing pirate trade out of the Asteroid Belt of our Sol system.  The Belt circles the center of our solar system and because of that is easily the best place to have pirates operate out of as shipments have to cross it's path along the solar systems plane.  Captain Algernon Fisk story is set in a time period where Saturn is dominated by a communist state on the bring of collapse, a British empire based out of Jupiter allied with an American presence on Mars.  Assorted other nationalities are spread out among the Human Diaspora within the solar system, providing a political climate on the brink of war.  

This first book of Fisk is humbly offered to you, my reader.  Please feel free to leave a review if you have read the story already or if you haven't download today and read at your leisure.